Honoring the past, weaving the future
OUR STORY
In 2019, friends Lauren Carroll and Erin Merelli set out to collaborate on a project fueled by their shared passion: deathwork. Challenged by the fact that so few people knew about it, and longing for more open, honest conversations around death in their community, they decided to create a space where others could come learn about the intricacies of end-of-life options. Having witnessed the transformative effects of deathwork in the lives and the families of their clients, Lauren and Erin were driven by their shared desire to bring compassionate non-medical end-of-life care options to a wider audience. They knew that the time at the end of a loved one’s life is sacred, and that preparedness matters, so their mission was clear: to help more people feel empowered in the face of an inherently uncontrollable situation. Gathering a small group of strangers in a circle, they hosted their first workshop, and in that heartfelt moment, The Deathwives were born.
Together We Grieve
Soon their workshops were selling out and they were being asked to teach larger audiences. Occasionally after class, students would confess that they too felt called to embark on the path of a deathworker, and asked how to go about getting started. The seeds Lauren and Erin had planted in their community were beginning to sprout.
In 2020, amidst the unfathomable loss of life during Covid, Lauren and Erin felt a calling to create something new: Community Grief, a pay-what-you-can workshop open to all. Understanding the intrinsic connection between deathwork and griefwork, they recognized the pandemic had deeply affected our ability to mourn. And while they couldn't stop the whole world from shutting down, they knew that they could offer a guiding hand to those grieving. Community Grief was a humble offering–a gift to anyone who needed it—a way to help others unravel their unique threads of individual and collective grief through their personal story and ancestry, and mourn the loss of people, place, and normalcy we all suffered during Covid. And as the healing from their workshop rippled out, they began to realize that this wasn't just about education anymore. Their vision for The Deathwives was evolving, and equity, access, and community were the cornerstones upholding it.
"Lauren and Erin have truly done something special here. The love, thought, and amount of time they have spent to create curriculum that is engaging and thought provoking, is clear in every class."
Nicole J.
Heeding the Call
As their student base and impact grew, Lauren and Erin found themselves at a crossroads, contemplating larger questions: What defines a truly supportive and inclusive community of modern-day deathworkers? Could they unite across generations and traditions to create a living archive of shared deathcare wisdom? How might they connect families with specialized local death doulas in times of need?
Lauren, disenchanted with the limitations of the corporate deathcare industry despite her role as a funeral director, longed for a deeper sense of mystery, beauty, and humanity in her work. Meanwhile, Erin, a doula and celebrant with a passion for creating meaningful experiences, envisioned extending their reach to diverse audiences, transcending demographics and generations.
Driven by their curiosity, soul calling, and shared vision, they expanded their offerings to serve both novices and seasoned practitioners alike with courses exploring the entire spectrum of death care, including their renowned Deathwives Death Doula Certification program.
"Though there are many and varied ways for families and friends to honor their dead, we don’t seem to want to talk about it until it’s too late... Lauren Carroll and Erin Merelli are trying to change all of that."
-Forbes
A School & Sanctuary
Fast forward to the summer of 2021, and the narrative continues with the launch of Deathfolx, their community platform for deathworkers and the death-curious, that hosts monthly workshops, featured guest speakers, and virtual ‘Tea Time’ with members from around the globe.
Next, posing the question to themselves, ‘What kind of education would have been absolutely life-changing for us if it had existed when we were exploring our relationships with death?’, they created their most exclusive and transformational program yet: Deathschool. An intensely intimate journey that takes students through the most sacred and mystical realms of death, grief, and ancestry, Deathschool provides sacred container of deep human-to-human support where advanced students can experience and embody Lauren and Erin’s highest teachings.
By 2023, between their courses, Deathfolx, and Deathschool, The Deathwives had become a sanctuary for deathworkers and the death-curious from all walks of life–a place where our unique stories became our greatest strengths, just as they’d imagined.
Visionary LEADERS
Press, podcasts, keynotes, a TED talk, thousands of students, endless friendships, newly legalized psilocybin death contemplations, and transformational in-person retreats have positioned The Deathwives as leaders in the today's death space. Continually driven by their vision of generative and compassionate future, where holistic and equitable death care is available to all, they heed the call with the same passion and dedication that birthed The Deathwives five years ago. They will continue to grow, serve, and welcome others into this space, and invite you, dear reader, to wander in, too.
Come explore your relationship to death, unearth your grief, embrace the wisdom of our ancestors, and join us in cultivating reverence for the one thing we will experience sooner or later: death. We’re all just walking each other home.
LAUREN CARROLL
CO-FOUNDER
Lauren is a Green Funeral Director and Death Educator. Her career as a natural and holistic funeral director in Colorado began in a corporately run funeral home and evolved over the years to green funeral homes, where she pioneered holistic services from natural burial to water cremation. Her work realm of expertise expanded to home funerals, Natural Organic Reduction (NOR), and now, death education for individuals and organizations. She has served on the board of directors for the National Home Funeral Alliance and is a regular volunteer at Hospice. Lauren is deeply passionate about bringing community into the death space and supporting family involvement at the end of life. She knows firsthand the power of creating strong communal containers for processing grief (which is simply love without a home). When not honoring the dead or nurturing the earth we eventually return to, Lauren tends to her two children and her urban farm at the base of a mountain.
ERIN MERELLI
CO-FOUNDER
Erin Merelli is a Death Doula, Ceremonialist, and Death Educator. In her work with clients, she tends to those at the end of life, creating custom care plans and crafting funeral ceremonies intended to honor and authentically represent those in her care. In all of her work, she is devoted to creating spaces for grief and for love. Erin has a deep love for nature and lives by an ethos that grief is unavoidable, so should be seen, honored by action, and balanced by joy. Inspired by her clients, she is driven to live her life fully and unapologetically, and lives in Denver with her two children and four cats.
Yes, four.
